Just because you’re physically in the same room as your boyfriend or girlfriend, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily showing up. If you aren’t putting enough emotional time an energy into the relationship and treating things more like an item on the to-do list, there’s no way the love will last.
Take a look at the top 15 things you should do if you really want to show up physically and emotionally in the relationship.
15. Let go of the small things.
14. Forget about ‘winning’ and ‘losing’.
The point of an argument should not be to win or lose because either way you end up losing when you focus on who was right or wrong instead of getting back on the same page.
13. Be Honest.
12. But always be kind.
There’s a fine line between being honest and being mean. It’s important to be truthful with your partner, but take care not to hurt their feelings.
11. Write love notes.
No not a text, physically write a letter. It doesn’t have to be a novel, just a few words that they’ll see when they don’t expect it.
10. Make plans.
If you’re feeling like things are getting a little repetitive, make plans and explore places you both have never been.
9. Get dressed up.
Remember how much time you spent making sure you looked ok on your first date? Try to channel some of that effort again. You don’t have to go overboard, but taking a few more minutes to get out of the yoga pants and into a real outfit will show your partner how much you care about the relationship.
8. Try to be helpful, even if they don’t ask you for help.
7. Don’t hold things in.
Holding things in doesn’t help anyone. You don’t express what’s bothering you, and your boyfriend or girlfriend won’t know something needs to be changed.
6. Surprise your partner.
Surprises don’t have to be grand. Even something small, like picking a wild flower on your way home shows you care.
5. Put away the screens.
Yes, I mean all screens. Put away or turn off all TVs, computers, phones, and iPads for the first 20 minutes when you see each other. Use this time to actually connect with each other.
4. Make an effort to stop doing things that annoy your partner.
Does he/she hate it when you leave clothes on the floor, yet you continue to do it even though the hamper is right in front of you? Try to make a conscious effort to cut out annoying behavior, especially when it makes no difference to you.
3. Make your partner a priority.
2. Show up.
If you say you’re going to do something, actually do it. The person you’re in a relationship should be the person you can count the most on, so stop breaking promises and flaking out when you say you’ll do something.
1. When things get tense, don’t overreact.
Instead of accusing your partner of their faults or mistakes, focus on how their actions made you feel. Things that happened in the past can’t be changed, but how you make each other feel can. Approach these situations as calmly as you can so you can move on without causing more harm.
Do you show up in your relationship? Share with us in the comments below.
[Featured image credit: Txmblevibes via Tumblr]